Anger. Hopeless. Trust. Despair. Hope. Confusion. Trust.  For most lament is rarely a straight path. It is a wandering towards God in the midst of pain.

Do you feel like you're in the wilderness? Have you completely lost your bearings? Are you in the ocean depths—overwhelmed and under pressure? Are you floating in an open sky—feeling disconnected from everyone and everything?

For the past 5 years, Barbara and I have made it our gift to each other to go to a beach a few days after Christmas. So, it’s a sunny and seventy-five degree New Year’s Day 2021. We’re mostly shaded by our umbrella. Barb’s caught up in a murder mystery and I’m watching the pelicans fish. I’m also reading a book, it so happens, on fishing. It’s about fishing for folks like Jesus called his disciples to do.

“Wait a minute...that’s what I weigh? Is that right?” “That’s what the scale says, sweetie. Don’t feel bad, that’s everybody this year.” I knew 2020 had been a year of stress eating. My daily dose of stress relief during quarantine was anything covered in cheese dust (popcorn, Cheetos, Pringles, chips, goldfish, etc.). And yet I was still slack-jawed in the doctor’s office, staring at that number. I just wasn’t prepared to see exactly how much I had gained. That was a week ago, right before Christmas. And now...to plan.